again. again i want try to make an attempt. again i have this urge to come back. here, now, it's hard to supress. when i left da, i didn't care. i didn't want anyone to follow. i didn't want to talk... but here, now. i miss the people. maybe it's because i never really left. i was quite, yes, but i was still here watching, reading. i guess this craving, this need to be social, to meet ANYBODY new, brings me back. maybe i should explain myself as to why i left here, and da, in the first place?
everytime i join an art site, i immediately find myself trying to prove myself... i don't know, everything i draw is unsatisfying because i'm drawing it too fast, and for no reason other then to show off, no matter what the original intention of the image was. it makes everything so meaningless and unsatisfying. and the envy of everyone else just pulls it all apart. not just art. not just what i see, but what i fel and read. i can't be satisfyed with my best when everyone else's best is so much better... it's all so stupid. i need to learn to do what i can and be happy with it, and to draw for MYSELF and not everyone else. until then, i'm here, but don't expect much from me other then a few comments and a poor attempt at socializing.
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